Can You Be Friends With an Ex Once You’re Married?

Pat Benatar alerted the nation of the state of love when she compared it to the heavy artillery and dirty bombs one faces in a war. But do you think the idea of my body being metaphorically blown to smithereens stopped me from dating not one, but two yeah But this isn’t about Peter fake name , Jessica fake name , or even Mothra Blurgenstein shockingly, actual name — kidding! From the lips of relationship fuck-ups and our resident sex sociologist, Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, here is what you should and shouldn’t do while dating the ex of a friend. What kind of ex are we talking about here? Did they date for a week in eighth grade and break up via AIM? Have they been together for 10 years and just ended things in an emotionally draining way? Assess the situation by putting yourself in their shoes and thinking about how you would react if the situation was flipped. I went for my best friend’s first ex-girlfriend a day after they broke up.

Dating a friend’s ex boyfriend

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Sometimes dating your friend’s ex is all good, and sometime it’s really not. Ask yourself these 10 questions before you go there.

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place — maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock. Woman apologizing after an argument iStock. Furthermore, Dr. Friends making a toast iStock. Beginning the discussion with your friend might be scary, at first.

7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend’s Ex

Thinking about hooking up with them doesn’t make you a bad person, but not until you really, really give it some thought should you even consider turning those thoughts into action. One school of thought says you should close that door forever. Be prepared to let the ex-hookup fantasy fade away in order to maintain the friendship. Otherwise, it could get ugly.

And in general, is it okay to date your friend’s ex-girlfriend? friend’s ex-girlfriend can become your future spouse, then you should fight for her.

My Account. Remember Me? Need an account? Register Now. Recent Blue Posts Yesterday. Recent Forum Posts PM. View Poll Results: Rules to dating your friend or relatives ex wife or girlfriend? Voters You may not vote on this poll. Thread: Rules to dating your friend or relatives ex wife or girlfriend? Page 2 of 3 First 1 2 3 Last Jump to page:. Ex-wife I’d say is probably a big no all around. Ex-gf you may lose a friend, depending on how you handle it, and how recent the break up was, and how they broke up.

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What It’s Really Like To Date Your Friend’s Ex

You never think anything could breakup you and your best friend, but you could be wrong. Everyone has unspoken rules or guidelines around what is and is not okay to do in their friendship, otherwise known as bro or girl code. These guidelines might be as harmless as not giving unsolicited advice to more serious deal breakers like not abandoning your intoxicated friend at a party. While we can all agree the ex-files is not territory we should be steering into, sometimes life happens and we fall for people unexpectedly.

Beyond mutual unhealthiness, was their relationship abusive?

Friendship, quarrel,. Dear Carolyn: About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We were all recently married then.

It does, after all, seem like a hard line to draw in the sand. On the flip side, it might also impact your relationship with your friend, depending on things like how they broke up , how long they dated, and whether or not they still harbor feelings for this person in question. If the breakup was recent, for example, your friend may have some lingering feelings. They may also feel awkward about situations in which the three of you might hang out after these new relationship lines are drawn.

And in that case, your friend may not want you to have anything to do with the ex—to save you from future anguish. Before knowing the best way to proceed, you need to get to the bottom of these feelings.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

Find the 5 emotional stages of you have again be a new. Is always going to be truly difficult to handle again someone new. Another dating for with someone else. Getting your ex already has no effect on when they move on yourself, their new.

All good friends like to believe in the mantras of “mates before dates,” and “sisters before misters,” but sometimes, the possibility for a true love.

I mean you really would love nothing better than to have them to yourself but you know you have to respect the boundaries hopefully. They belong to your friend and it would look real bad for you to make a move on that person. Fast forward and now they are no longer with your friend. They broke up for whatever reason and it turns out the attraction is mutual. You want to act on it but maybe you feel it is a violation of your friendship…Give me a break! You are two adults and neither of you are obligated to anyone.

So why not just go make it happen? Is it really wrong to date a friends ex?

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Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to receive weekly articles that might help you during and after your divorce! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things—personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc. I shared things with her and trusted her. Weeks later, I saw my ex leaving her house.

› Blog › Advice for good relationships.

Here are some examples:. Her tits were so unreal, they were like something out of an anime cartoon. Trust is the backbone of a great friendship or relationship and if you break it, the relationship comes crashing down. It ruined me for years, but I eventually picked myself off the floor and transformed myself into the man I am today. However, if a friend wanted her shortly after she dumped me, I would no longer consider him a true friend. If your friend married a woman, then he most-likely really loved her.

Is it OK to Date Your Friend’s Ex?

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present. You also need to ask yourself if the ex has had enough time to heal from the breakup or you could risk being the rebound.

If you value the relationship with your friend/relative you don’t date their ex it’s asking for trouble. I would never date any girl who has dated or.

Even though there are almost eight billion people in the world, it’s hard to control who you fall for, and sometimes, it can be the most inconvenient person of all: A friend’s ex. No matter how long they’ve been broken up, dating a friend’s ex can put you in a sticky situation. Your friendship could mean the world to you, but if you haven’t been able to shake the feelings you have for your friend’s ex , it might be time to have a conversation. While you may have heard time and time again that any and all of your friend’s exes are off-limits , this rule isn’t always one-size-fits-all.

The only way to know how your friend will feel is to have an open, honest conversation with them where you express your interest in their ex. You never know — perhaps they’ll be incredibly unfazed, and you can pursue their ex without a worry. On the other hand, if they aren’t OK with the idea of you and their ex dating , you may have to consider the possible repercussions, and whether or not you’re ready to face them. If you can’t deny your desire to date your friend’s ex , it’s important to keep these four things in mind, in order to keep the situation as drama-free as possible.

In a perfect world, you would be able to date your friend’s ex and keep that friend in your life forever. But unfortunately, it may be too hard for your friend to be in your life when their ex is part of it, too. If your friend and their ex ended on good terms, that doesn’t necessarily mean your friend will be OK with your interest in their ex, Dr.

Dating a Friend’s Ex: Is It a Good Idea?

Back in my hometown, I lived in a small arts and activism community, and everyone dated everyone. It was a cesspool of friends and lovers mixing. I distinctly remember talking to a new friend and finding out we had dated not one, not two, but three of the same guys. This made it difficult for me to even go on dates without thinking about all of the partners the other person might have had — people I probably knew and would inevitably compare myself to.

It was all too much. When friends end up sharing the same romantic partners, even the the most seemingly solid friendships can quickly go sour.

My best friend and I have been besties since the fourth grade. When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without l love him so much and when they dating l didnt have a crush on him thats why l didnt I became friends with a guy coworker, both of us married, met his wife and he met my.

For as long as you can remember, society has rolled with this mentality and relationships have been guided by this rule. Affections have been snuffed out, crushed before blooming by this brotherhood and sisterhood code. It is considered a betrayal of trust, an awkward situation and a friendship deal breaker. But really, does it have to be like that? I have always thought that the reasons often given to justify the existence of this decapitating rule are not enough.

People who support the motion that exes should be off limit to friends say it is uncomfortable, could impact the friendship wrongly and as earlier said, it is a prime example of the cruelest types of betrayal. Of course, issues like this are usually not in absolute whites or absolute blacks. There is also the issue of residual affection between your friend and said ex.

Likewise, it is an entirely different kettle of fish if the said ex cheated on your friend and that is why they broke up. These are but few instances that look pretty shady, raise a lot of questions and each one of such situations would need to be considered as isolated events within their different contexts.

Dating A Friend’s Ex Can Be Tricky, So Keep These 4 Things In Mind If You’re Going To Try

While it’s natural to jump to conclusions and assume the worst if your partner is friends with their ex , it’s important to keep in mind that many people remain friends after a breakup — in a perfectly healthy, mature, and respectable way. That’s not to say, though, that all friendships are healthy, or that all exes remain in contact for the right reasons.

So, if something doesn’t feel right, be sure to speak up. Do they hang out with you?

Keep your friends away from your spouse. You have no idea what the next person is thinking. If you say “My husband/wife would never cheat with my friends then.

As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister? Would you be devastated if she never spoke to you again?

Is your friend happy in her new relationship and has long moved on?

Hooking Up With Your Friend’s Ex